Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
handjob tips. give me some.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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