he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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