wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
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Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
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with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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