Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
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Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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