just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
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I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
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