I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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