in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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