Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
time to smoke my breakfast
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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