We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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