Plan B is the new Plan A
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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