What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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