Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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