I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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