I'm really into asian looking animals
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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