ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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