her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You were trust falling into bushes
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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