My Higher Power is John Stamos
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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