I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
we're so committed to being not committed
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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