I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize