I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize