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But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
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