Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.

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  (714): But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out. http://tfl.nu/5n0s
  Replies (11) Good night (521) Bad night (1004) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show

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  (515): pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show http://tfl.nu/p27u
  Replies (23) Good night (3828) Bad night (1168) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  can you take me to a tanning bed

  (1-716): View more from New York

  sure, why though?

  (716): View more from New York

  i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious

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  (716): can you take me to a tanning bed (1-716): sure, why though? (716): i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious http://tfl.nu/lgox
  Replies (31) Good night (480) Bad night (6256)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous

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  (973): she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous http://tfl.nu/o10z
  Replies (9) Good night (1248) Bad night (4983)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.

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  (585): Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either. http://tfl.nu/3i4x
  Replies (12) Good night (7676) Bad night (746) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"

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  (615): Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing" http://tfl.nu/ru0o
  Replies (7) Good night (3925) Bad night (1043) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.

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  (843): Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat. http://tfl.nu/tf28
  Replies (7) Good night (1262) Bad night (3394) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated

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  (860): Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated http://tfl.nu/83mz
  Replies (7) Good night (2010) Bad night (1650) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis

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  (740): his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis http://tfl.nu/cmya
  Replies (5) Good night (787) Bad night (2809) Order T-Shirt
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.

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  (225): Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper. http://tfl.nu/6qsz
  Replies (10) Good night (1975) Bad night (534) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.

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  (440): He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face. http://tfl.nu/bq6r
  Replies (9) Good night (468) Bad night (750) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick

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  (804): You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick http://tfl.nu/kw0t
  Replies (1) Good night (338) Bad night (1009) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.

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  (585): I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in. http://tfl.nu/1xha
  Replies (4) Good night (363) Bad night (371) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face

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  (505): People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face http://tfl.nu/xc5y
  Replies (3) Good night (538) Bad night (141) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.

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  (206): I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too. http://tfl.nu/htiy
  Replies (0) Good night (362) Bad night (164) Order T-Shirt

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