hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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