Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize