He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
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I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
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Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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