I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize