She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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