No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
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Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
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By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize