I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Couch. On fire.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize