It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize