I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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