Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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