You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize