Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize