your parents love me but you hate me
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Randomize