Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
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Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
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There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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