i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize