i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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