Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
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