I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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