Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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