I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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