He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sick fucks of a feather flock together
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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