She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
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Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
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And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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