Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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