the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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