Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
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Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
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Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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