Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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