You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
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We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
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Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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