Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Ketchup is God's man juice
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize