You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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